This filter system is often based on our interests, desires, and fears. The reason is we hone in on things that appeal to us and serve our interests in some way and ignore the rest. And what is focused on and what is ignored varies from one person to the next.
Your reality is created in large part by your filter system. Once you come to expect the behavior, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Whether consciously or not, you will start to behave in a way that turns men off this can be very subtle and might not come across in anything you say or do , thus feeding into your original fear. Your fear will manifest itself in behavior like clinging more tightly to the relationship or being on guard for its inevitable end, which will, in turn, cause the relationship to unravel.
Want proof? Close your eyes and pick a color. Visualize the color in your mind, picture items that are that color, see yourself dressed in that color, think about the emotions that color evokes. I guarantee it will be that color unless you did this in an all white room. If we dwell on something, even for under a minute, our mind becomes programmed to pick it up.
Reality is not objective; it is shaped by both what happens to us and how we interpret the things that happen to us. Solution: In order to have more success in love and relationships, you need to adjust your filter system so that you see the good all around you. You need to be able to appreciate and acknowledge the goodness that is in you and in your relationship.
If you let your fears run the show, you will set yourself up for sabotage. First, you need to weed out faulty thought patterns. This applies not only to relationships, it applies to and can be used to enhance all areas of your life. Our thoughts have a huge impact on the way we feel, and since we can control what we think our thoughts are a very powerful tool once we start using them.
I am also a big fan of keeping a gratitude journal. This will re-train your brain to focus on the good. Most of us are unaware of all the ways our past can bleed into our present—and even our future—if left unchecked. I have been hurt a lot over the years, for which I am thankful. They say time heals all wounds, but I find that is only partially true. A relationship is going to unfold in only one of two ways: it will either last forever or it will fall apart. When I first started dating my husband, even though I felt very sure about his intentions I had a really tough time fully trusting him and the relationship.
More importantly, I had a hard time trusting myself and my own judgment. I knew these feelings were coming from me because he did nothing to make me think he was anything other than fully committed to making the relationship work.
But sometimes seemingly small, innocent things would trigger my fears and insecurities. With a little self-reflection I was able to pinpoint exactly why it was happening. You see Eric used to say that line anytime my insecurities would flare up. And I believed him. Even though the relationship was far from ideal, I believed he would never leave. The relationship had its ups and downs … and even though the downs were becoming more frequent and long lasting, I believed we would power through it.
I believed we were in it together and would make it work. Instead, my greatest fear became a reality… he left me for someone else and showered her with all the love he had been incapable of giving me. Rather than process what had happened, I partied like there was no tomorrow.
I made sure to leave no open space for the pain to slip in. I was going, going, going, no time to stop. This is one of the greatest obstacles that stop you from being in a relationship. And these men would never, for once, look towards their direction.
Most of the guys who wanted to date me were people with luxuries but I rejected their offers, and I know you might be thinking, what sort of person am I.
There is always a reason for everything. These guys are so rude, they have no regards for anyone. Though I would like to be in a relationship with them, I just cannot accept every single thing they brought to the table. Philips was good looking and has all the luxuries which can attract me to him.
He was indeed fun to be with and confident. He also has a flirtatious behavior. I noticed his flaws and did try to help him out of it just like other women would like to do. But you know Scorpio guys, they are very good at flirting. After so many disappointments, I had to figure out what could be done, at least I claim to be a relationship expert. I asked myself several questions. What were the reasons for breaking up or turning the guys down? Was it my fault or theirs? Where do I need to patch things up?.
All these questions need to be answered before I try to step into another relationship, or else I will get back into the same mess again thinking no one wants to be with me or no one wants to date me.
When I was able to answer all these questions, I knew where I made mistakes and what I must adjust. The filter system acts like that because of the configuration of the human system, but it works based on our experience. Our interests, desires and fears are all what the filter system uses when it wants to react towards anything. For instance, if you are afraid of being cheated, there is nothing you will pick up except being cheated.
All your brain will be focused on is that person who does not have an interest in you. The way we think differs. Though we are aiming at the same thing, the way I will approach a problem will surely be different from yours. Your filter system often determines your reality. If you have the belief that the man you want will also feel the same way, you can never find a proof for that belief.
Once you start expecting this to happen, the prophecy will surely be fulfilled in no time. Whether you do it intentionally or not, the way you behave will always attract men towards you.
If you are afraid something is going to happen, surely that thing is going to manifest. Find out what kind of dater you are! We have seen the type of girls that only exist in the movies, but some are found in real life too. Some girls are mean, whereas others are pure angels on Earth whose presence is a gift. Questions: 8 Attempts: Last updated: Sep 16, Yeah, who listens to parents? Well, they will find out eventually. Do the thing that catches their attention.
Jokes and laughs. Only once. A lot. Stuck Like Glue by Sugarland. Into You by Ariana Grande. I did not find the right person.
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